The purpose of my discussion is not to seek rationalizations, favorable opinions or friendly excuses to justify choices, but to extract truth regardless of how challenging or shocking the conclusions may be. This is not about all the victims of divorce and it is not about seeking any old or new psychological rationalizations or justifications to the untruth. Once the truth is uncovered and is openly and logically presented; it is up to the reader to decide whether to follow, ignore, mask, lie, or create his or her own standards. No matter how one rationalizes the untruth, no matter how compassionate the untruth may seem, it does not change into truth.
When I reflect on the greatest choice Adam made, I realized that if divorce complies with the Creator’s design, then Adam would have seized the opportunity to explain divorce when he first met Eve and when Eve offered him the choice to disobey the Creator’s commandment. Adam absolutely did not teach about divorce nor entertain the thought of its possibility. He continued to abide by the Creator’s design. The reason is that divorce does not exist in the Creator’s design for human purpose or human sexuality − not at Adam’s time nor at any time in the present or future. However, with that said, in certain situations where spouses believe they have unresolved conflicts with one another, a separation is appropriate. This separation can be referred to by any other term such as “divorce.” The separation (or divorce) can last as long as needed for the spouses to resolve their conflicts and return to their previous status close together; or in the worst case, the separation can persist indefinitely.
During the separation (commonly known as divorce), just like anyone else single or married and past or present, each of the spouses is obligated to abide by the Creator’s copyright design that is communicated unmistakably in every offspring’s Genetic flesh and that is verbally and nonverbally expressed in living life choices and responses that each makes for oneself (or to a certain degree for our dependants) if the person desires to win life with the Creator after death. Without question, if Adam realized the possibility of divorce and remarriage or fornication or adultery existed, he would never have accepted a labor and death sentence for himself and all his offspring. Without question, any person past and future of much less wisdom than Adam with far less happiness and wealth to lose than Adam, would chose labor and death for himself and the offspring rather than remarriage or divorce and another organ transplant to create a new woman so that the happy life with the Creator could continue.
Anyone reading the Bible would quickly realize that sex addiction plagues almost everyone and is even seeping into those who obey the Creator in just about everything else. Sex addiction past and present affects religious leaders as well as laypersons. Therefore, everyone needs constant reminders, help and strengthening to fight this ravaging, unethical, unfair; unjust plague that opposes the Creator’s design and the opportunity to win life with the Creator after death.
Deuteronomy 22: 13-26 contain various laws against adultery, rape and accusations of false virginity after the consummation of the marriage and against having relations with a maiden. Moses twice asserted that after the marriage is consummated, relations with a virgin or raping a maiden virgin would result in financial penalty and embarrassment for the man. Furthermore, the man may not divorce the woman as long as he lives as stated in verses 19 and 29, “…Moreover, she shall remain his wife, and he may not divorce her as long as he lives.”
The law in verses 13-19 involved a man who accused his wife of not being a virgin because he did not like her. The verse clearly implies that the first sexual relation constitutes a permanent and lasting one as the two become one flesh. In fact, the one flesh is permanent even if they did not like each other thereafter. Notice that the situation led to great embarrassment as the man had to go in front of the city elders or judges. Therefore, after all the embarrassment and the fine, most likely the couple will remain separate, yet permanently married. Deuteronomy 22: 28-29 states,
If a man comes upon a maiden that is not betrothed, take her and has relations with her, and their deed is discovered, the man who had relations with her shall pay the girl’s father fifty silver shekels and take her as his wife, because he has deflowered her. Moreover, he may not divorce her as long as he lives.
The law describes sexual relations that are defended today as consensual sexual relations between two adults. The point here is that after the first sexual relation between a man and a woman, the two become one flesh permanently and are inseparable, even though they may have unresolved issues that require permanent physical separation. In addition, we should understand that although Moses was speaking of the man as the perpetrator, the law equally applies to a woman, especially after Adam described the man and wife as one flesh.
We should read Deuteronomy 24: 1-4 with clearer eyes and heart,
When a man after marrying a woman and having relations with her, is later displeased with her because he finds in her something indecent, and therefore he writes out a bill of divorce and hands it to her, thus dismissing her from his house: If on leaving his house she goes and becomes the wife of another man, and the second husband, too, comes to dislike her and dismisses her from his house by handing her a written bill of divorce; or if this second man has married her, dies; then her former husband who dismissed her may not again take her as his wife after she has become defiled. That would be an abomination before the LORD, and you shall not bring such guilt upon the land which the LORD, your God, is giving you as a heritage.
I believe that all such laws (including laws about circumcision) are a type of medication that helps people who are struggling to obey the Creator’s copyright design and especially to help those who struggle with the sexual addiction disease. If you cannot get along with your spouse for any reason, then do not kill or poison or falsely accuse your spouse, rather just divorce them. It is clear that divorce is mainly a separation of the spouses either permanently or for as long as it takes to resolve the issue. That perfectly complies with the Creator’s design for human sexuality and it is one good treatment for the disease of sexual addiction. Remember, Moses’ laws assume that the man is circumcised by the permanent mark of sexual purity to remind the man and woman of the Creator’s timeless design as explained and described by the Creator nonverbally and as explained by Adam when he described the spouses as, “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh ….one flesh.” (Genesis chapter 2). Moreover, as I explained, the indications overwhelmingly support the one flesh forming the permanent spousal one flesh.
When the husband and wife separate, they will miss one another and they will have time to evaluate their one thousand and one reasons and excuses for the separation or divorce. They could realize how unjustly exaggerated their disagreements were and could happily return to one another for the best of their family. In addition, divorce or separation should trigger the support and involvement of their families to help bring them back together. Their families should remind them that their disagreements should also pass just as the parents experienced disagreements for a short period. The divorce or separation of the family would also alert the children to get involved in the situation either verbally or nonverbally. Their cries and hardship hopefully would move the parent’s emotions from their detached illogical, unfair, unethical and unjust incompliance with the Creator’s design. The cries and hardship of the children becomes fleshy visual reminders of the deep and less visible bone of the parent’s one flesh. The separation or divorce is a strong and valuable medication to use if needed.
I noticed that the medicine of divorce does not end at the disfavored outcome of “divorce,” rather very wisely goes on to visually and emotionally illustrate the future possibilities. I invite the reader or listener to imagine and think carefully about the future possibilities. It is a great way to awaken the spouse’s emotional bond and longing to what Adam beautifully and profoundly exclaimed in Genesis 2: 24, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and the two become one body.”
Can you feel the strong emotional and visual description of the unexpected scenarios of, “another man takes the wife” as saying wake up, there is not a large enough supply of precious women for every ambitious man. Recycling the divorced might be the only option and others may mistreat your one flesh. Notice how the Moses’ illustration does not stop after the first divorce, but the first divorce becomes a victim of a second divorce and many more divorces or fornication or adultery become possible. Moses purposefully continues the illustration with another divorce or even back to the first man. Wow, that means your wife is so desirable by multiple other opinions. Worse yet, the wisdom of the medicinal scenario illustrates that your one flesh might become the object of humiliation by multiple men who despise your one flesh. The medicinal illustration against the contagious addiction of fornication or adultery is profoundly effective at dealing with the silly and unwise people who are dishonoring the most profound and clear teaching of Adam, the guidance of the Ten Commandments, the silent nonverbal commandments within the Genetic flesh, the permanent visual constant mark of the oath of circumcised man and all the Mosaic law. All of this could help them with their sexual addictions and could help them to be guided by the Ultimate choice Adam made choosing labor and death and abiding by the Creator’s design.
Although Moses was speaking to the men, Moses and the wise people know that, just as Adam exclaimed, the man and his wife become one flesh; therefore, Moses was speaking to either of the spouses even when he used the man as the initiator. Moses therefore, is not singling out the man as a boss and the woman as a passive victim. We observed equality between the man and woman since the time of Adam. Actually, Eve was the initiator who handed the fruit to Adam desperately imploring and seeking his help and wisdom − not tricking him with cunning. Adam and Eve are one flesh just as Moses’ scenario is illustrating and teaching the people in a formal and authoritative tone.
Some of the unwise are seeking a style of authority that is not as direct as the Ten Commandments; they are more effectively taught with a different style of authority. I find that Moses very wisely appealed indirectly and subtly to the senses and emotions of the people whose logic grew numb from constant reliance on rationalizations and excuses for the untruth. Gradually, Moses enticed the listeners who may entertain the thought of a permanent separation from the permanent one flesh. If Moses appealed to those people saying do not do it, because the spouses are permanently one, then Moses is not giving them a new medicine because that has already been taught. Therefore, Moses was appealing to all their senses and desires by that beautifully taught law. Moses drew an ugly and painful living picture of a wife who is detached and divorced from her spousal one flesh (or from the one flesh) and is thrown to the wild beasts represented by unethical, unfair, unjust addict sex hunters wanting a temporary prey to satisfy their uncontrolled sexual addiction.
Notice the wisdom of his approach. As soon as he completed his sentence, “divorce her,” he immediately drew the audience’s attention to the scenario of another man who is an addict sex hunter neglecting his promise to the Creator. He would TAKE HER and find her UNCLEAN, then treat her badly and separate from her or divorce her. Then again, another addict sex hunter takes this unclean spousal one flesh or the one flesh. However, notice that what was clean binding by a clean circumcised spouse to form ONE CLEAN FLESH, is referred to as unclean after the divorce. To leave one flesh to merciless addict sex hunters even once is a torture and the utmost humiliation. The story is a fascinating wisdom in illustrating and teaching anyone who could stomach the thought of permanent divorce about the one flesh and how permanent divorce permits addict sex hunters to defile it.
Moses is also appealing and trying to awake the mind of the divorce seekers to the children. I believe Moses is illustrating something similar to what Adam taught. Divorce affects the children and the one flesh parents equally. Moses presented a picture that was not as pretty as what Adam taught, but was instead the opposite − harsh and inhumane. It described the one flesh in the harshest possible scenario.
I believe that Moses realized that the beauty of Adam’s description of the relationship between spouses did not awaken some people. Adam’s message was followed by painful and tougher medicine. The Creator’s skin and blood marking the circumcision and all other teaching and commanding still was not effective for some people. Moses is left with no other choice but to illustrate the Creator’s design by the most inhumane and cruel teaching and illustration he could, but with wisdom so the people would accept the positive outcome that Moses is hoping for. Yes, the positive outcome was a law that appears to support divorce.
Moses absolutely wants those who seek divorce to suffer and experience the pain caused by even the thought of their inhumane choice. The children are neglected in the picture in a powerful message implying that the divorcing spouses think nothing of their children or their welfare. Furthermore, the people know well that the children are CLEAN regardless of the parent’s sexual choices. The children inherit one part of Genetic flesh from each parent; this inherited part has nothing to do with the permanently altered virgin Genetic segment of the spousal one flesh. The children inherit untainted virgin Genetic segment of the offspring flesh.
Moses describes how a second man finds the one flesh divorced spouse unclean. Moses is illustrating to the divorce seekers that soon your one flesh, the parent of your children, would be found UNCLEAN. This indirectly implies that the children would have serious difficulty in finding a suitable spouse, because what parent would marry their children to children of unclean parents? It is obvious to everyone that clean and unclean do not mix well. Moses is telling the people who seek divorce that the decision of whether your one flesh, the parent of your children, is either clean or unclean is not yours anymore, but belongs to an unmerciful person on the third generation of addict sex hunters who has no respect to the first one flesh of the spouse. In other words when someone says that your one flesh is dirty, then your body is dirty as well.
Moses is also referring to the future prospects for the divorcing spouses. Once everyone knows that their one flesh is a dirty body then the dirty body of either spouse would have difficulty finding a clean body to mate with their dirty body. The illustration scenario helps the divorcing spouse understand that you absolutely certainly will end up settling for another dirty body to replace your clean and pure one flesh.
The illustration indirectly and subtly helps the people understand the depth of the solidity and timelessness of the Creator’s design with no way around it. Moses purposely avoided adding that not only do the divorced spouses both end up considered dirty and unclean but they also sacrifice a clean and pure body for another dirty and unclean body. On the top of all that they have committed the most serious disobedience and rebellion against the Creator’s design by not upholding the Creator’s design for permanent human sexual relationships.
Obviously, after all we discussed so far of some amazing depth of teaching and tough choices by Adam, Moses, the permanent and constant circumcision mark, the Ten Commandments, and the harshest description of how divorce and remarriage or fornication or adultery changes spouses from pure and clean one flesh to dirty, rejected, unclean multiple bodies treated mercilessly by addict sex hunters, yet many stubborn people would still divorce and commit fornication or adultery. The description of dirty body and the knowledge we have that the Creator makes only clean body illustrates the clean and pure offspring’s Genetic flesh. Therefore, marriage as described in the spousal one flesh is definitely supported not only logically but also by Judeo-Christian religion.
fornication or adultery is against the Creator’s design. Thus, encouraging the avoidance of fornication or adultery merely for lesser reasons, may give the false impression of its severity. I find it degrading and lacking the fullness and depth of understanding for religious leaders to cite the fear of sexually transmitted illnesses or unwanted pregnancies as good reasons to avoid fornication or adultery. Everyone dies eventually and the fear of death by diseases is misleading as a reason to avoid fornication or adultery. Sexually transmitted diseases are only relatively minor negative byproducts of fornication or adultery. Clever profit-driven pharmaceutical companies can always find ways around it, thus presenting the fear as easily overcome by preventative products, surgical means or by advertising the risk as too minute to count. Pregnancy is a natural result of sexuality and must never be presented as a disfavored outcome of fornication or adultery. The moment our offspring’s Genetic flesh forms, regardless of the sexual behavior of the parents, we are provided with the exciting opportunity to win the Ultimate Goal of Life, living with the Creator, whereas the opportunity never existed before.
The real tragedy of fornication or adultery is a serious conflict with the Creator’s design for human sexuality. The first sexual relationship creates a permanent alteration to the virgin Genetic flesh to a new and permanent state of spousal one flesh. Thus, any subsequent sexual relationship with other partners must overcome and numb the transformed and inseparable couples resistance against fornication or adultery. This process creates sexual dependencies (as illustrated by the addict sex hunter and addict sex prey) along with either immediate or delayed negative consequences. The sexual dependencies can become so strong and so difficult to overcome, or even recognize, that subsequent sexual choices risk permanent loss of the life with the Creator after death.
It is the risk of losing life with the Creator after death that is the worst negative consequence of fornication or adultery. Everyone can deal with negative consequences of fornication or adultery that are limited to during life, but disobeying the Creator’s design remains a risk neither Adam nor anyone else can bear. Learn how Adam did not waste a single moment accepting the punishment of labor and assured death rather than risking disobeying the Creator’s design for human sexuality. Adam made the great choice, but how about you and I?